Commendatori
Get out of the way.
Remember to say please.
- I can't watch this again. - This is the bootleg DVD.
- These are the alternate takes, Ton. - You gona tell Coppola how to fix it?
I do not believe this.
Oh, come on.
The disk is in there!
You know which scene I love most?
- "It was you, Fredo. " - Ton.
You gona go see your uncle if you go there?
- Yeah. - That would be smart.
- Fucking disc! - Paramount Pictures should...
...get their shit together.
We're gona be stealing thousands more.
How was Junior the last time you saw him?
His life is about Motrin.
Ton.
What's your favorite scene?
I can't have this conversation again.
Hit eject.
Don Ciccio's villa.
When Vito goes back to Sicily.
The crickets, the great old house.
It's fucking beautiful.
Maybe because I'm going there.
I was in the Army Signal Corps.
What this thing needs is what we call a Brogan adjustment.
- What's that? You know how? - Yep.
This is 1010 Wins.
You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world.
Temperatures will drop tomorrow after another scorching day.
Right now, it's 96 degrees at Caldwell. La Guardia is 94...
...and it's 98 degrees in Central Park and on the Upper East Side.
Great.
It's like this every Sunday. Yet you say...
..."great" like it's the first time.
Lower the air-conditioning.
I'm doing it, for God's sake. I just got this car.
I'm not familiar with the instrument panel.
Get out of the fucking car!
- Take the car! - Move!
Get out of the car!
You nasty bitch! Get the fuck out of here!
Hurry up!
Fucking Mercedes! Let's go.
Churchill!
- Sic 'em, Churchill! - Evan, no!
Sic 'em!
- Get them, boy! - Fly, big boy.
Come on, Churchill!
Churchill!
- Fucking niggers! - Barry!
Who else, huh?
Who else?
West Essex Ortopedic Group.
Mr. Soprano?
Can my nephew come? He's got questions for the doc...
...about my hip and all.
Of course. The doctor will be with you.
Perhaps your nephew can help you with your clothes?
You want some help?
I'm not taking my pants off until I know...
...that prick is gona x- ray me again.
It hurts like the Pit and the Pendulum just to wipe myself.
- What do you want to talk about? - Going over...
...to see that friend of ours.
- My car operation. - Lose that puss, it's mine now.
What's your question?
Our friend. What's he like?
I only met him once. He came on the Michelangelo.
1961.
Now that was traveling.
The Italian line. The food, the service.
Are you kidding me? We had some bon voyage parties on that boat.
- He's a serious man, Zi Vittorio. - Serious how?
You know what I mean.
Heads up, sony-boy.
He don't listen to opera, Vittorio, which is a fucking break.
Isn't he our distant cousin?
It's so far removed by now, Tonto is a closer cousin.
We deal with him through Furio Giunta. He speaks English.
Going to Italy, huh?
- Yeah. - Nice.
I never went.
It's not over yet.
And we don't get to go.
- You got school. - What about Mom?
It's a business trip.
Don't you think she might like a little interlude, the two of you?
You know when we'd like a little interlude? Right now.
Not my idea to have me set the table.
You want me to help with he roast?
It's right there on the counter.
Carm, it's a business trip.
Okay? It's not worth the jet lag.
- Did I say anything? - God!
Naples...
...Ischia and Capri...
...and oh...
...the food!
Shit!
Look. Last year, Tom and Barb... The trip to the Bahamas.
- I said I didn't have time. - You didn't.
- It was football season. - Call your brother for diner.
It's our busiest month.
Junior's last shipment went to Naples two months ago.
Thirty containers. Two cars to a container.
Junior had to give the operation over to who, specifically?
Ray Curto.
Okay, good work, Sal.
There's something else. The Moltisanti kid might get his button.
- Tony, where's he at with Junior? - Ain't spoke in months.
- Are you being straight with me? - Oh, Pussy.
Fuck!
How's it going, colonel?
- How you doing, Jimmy? - I heard you were in Puerto Rico.
Played there during the hurricanes.
Never again, I said.
Let me introduce you to a friend of ours.
This is Joey from Dover.
Delaware.
No shit! I live in Dover, here, Jersey.
That's right.
Joey, know where they got the name Dover from?
- The cliffs, I'm assuming. - That's right, very good.
Does it matter?
Joey, I knew this guy when he had social graces.
It's for Marissa's oldest. Sixth birthday.
Your kids are grown, Puss.
- What're you doing here? - It's my daughter's birthday.
Picking up some shit for a bachelor party.
You know, I'm trying to think.
Did I ever meet any connected guys from Delaware?
- That fucking box looks heavy. - The answer is...
No, no, no!
All right, I gotta go, fellas.
Joey, nice to meet you. You, Mr. Rude Cocksucker...
...see you around, baby.
- Motherfucker! - Take it easy. That went fine.
He saw me with you.
You come to a store and somebody sees you?
Sal, listen.
That went fine. Just know this:
You're doing a good job.
You must be so relieved Pussy's back.
You must be so happy.
- It was a long time. - Where was he?
- He don't like to worry me. - Not even a card?
That's got to be a worry. Worry is horrible.
- You must be so happy. - We're back to our old routine.
I love this song.
Oh, honey, I know. Your Jackie.
Listen to me. Going on about how happy I am and you a widow.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.
God, he's so handsome, this guy too.
He's blind, you know.
Jesus Christ!
Angie?
My God, I'm sure he's adjusted to it.
Christ! You fucking idiot, Rosalie!
- I'm not happy Sal's back. - Angie.
I'm sad and depressed.
I've thought of killing myself.
Fucking nosy!
Eat your manicotti.
God forgive me.
When he did come home that day...
...I was upstairs.
I heard the door and then his voice, "I'm home. "
I fucking wanted to vomit.
After all that worry he might be dead, praying he was okay.
My heart just sank and I wished...
He had died.
To just come and go year after year like that.
How dare he?
Have you reached out to him?
That's a good one.
Listen.
And I don't want my kids to know this.
They found a lump under my arm.
They biopsied it. I get the results in a few days.
Anyway, I told Sal.
He said, "Jesus Christ," kind of alarmed, a little.
Then he went back to whatever he was doing.
Spraying WD-40 on his pocketknife.
Hasn't asked me how I am.
Touch my face, or something, when he comes in.
- Angie, what are you gonna do? - Benign...
...malignant.
I'm getting a divorce.
Look at this place.
The mother country. Hey...
...here, they make it real.
Vesuvius, Jesus.
Who'll tell Artie that his mural looks like a used Trojan compared to this?
Notice the women? Know what I realized on the plane?
Even the skanks are worth fucking.
Those are my feelings too.
Yo, paesan!
What do you call it?
You did all right.
Two definite agendas I got:
Hit the topless beaches and see that fucking crater.
I don't care what anybody says.
Look at this fucking place.
Been here 1000 years.
Hey, T, check out the paint.
- Antonio Soprano? - Yeah.
Hey, how are you?
This is the friend Sil and me been talking to.
This is Paulie.
Christopher.
Tanno.
My boss, Nino, say you can fresh up.
Maybe a little sleep.
We'll pick you up at 8. He will meet us for fare la business.
Wait a minute...
...Nino?
I mean, I never heard of...
I'm sure he's nice. Will Vittorio be there?
Maybe no.
Commendatori. You are already checked in.
Commendatori! Like a commander.
I like that. That's respect.
- Did you hear? - About the Bompensieros, right?
Hang on, Gab. It may be Tony from Italy.
- Hello. - I didn't sleep a wink last night.
My God. Isn't this awful?
Did you tell Franny Altieri?
No. She's gonna shit when she hears this.
When will Christopher be here? He's got something for Don V.
Anytime now. He went to Corso to buy a gift for Adriana.
Nino says we always ask your uncle for more cars.
- He was no supply. - That's why I'm here.
Tell him we can fill any orders.
And also mention, no offense...
...we were hoping Zi Vittorio would be here.
- Anything I don't know about? - No.
Nino is...
He's a little...
...disappointed in your attitude of him.
I'm sure I will learn much doing business with a man like you.
It's an honor.
Nino is happy to be at your disposal.
My uncle's problem was he went to the Russians for the cars.
They kept the best stuff, shipped it off to St. Petersburg...
...Slovenia and Montenegro.
People that profited from those conflicts.
They got fucking bales of liquid cash.
And you got contacts in the markets over there.
Ton.
Ton, you tried this octopus yet?
I'm talking here.
You're like a child with the food and the pussy. What's going on?
This is a big thing to me, T. I was never over here, okay?
My brother was and my other brother, the doctor, was.
Mercedes ML Series. Very popular.
In Eastern Europe, you can sell this car for $ 110, $ 120,000.
My price to you:
Ninety grand.
Manufactured in America.
What did he fucking say?
It's Don Vittorio.
Antonio Soprano!
Don Vittorio.
It's an honor.
Wheelchair...
...Boulevard.
I think...
...something's wrong with the wheelchair.
He say "Wilshire" Boulevard.
My name is Annalisa. I am his daughter.
Piacere. Piacere.
Tony.
George...
...Washington...
...Bridge.
Right.
That's very good.
George Washington Bridge.
Ton, you give this guy a golf club, he'll probably try to fuck it.
I come 3000 miles, you never said nothing about Nino...
...all of a sudden he's my blind date?
Nino was in hiding from the police until two day ago.
I don't even think Mauro Zucca know he's here.
Who the fuck is Mauro Zucca?
Mauro Zucca run this family.
Obviously, Zi Vittorio.
Now I should be talking to Mauro Zucca?
Mauro Zucca is serving the life sentence.
Hey, you. Come here.
Yes, signore?
Can I just get some macaroni and gravy?
Paolo, he doesn't know what you says.
You mean grapes? Uva?
Gravy, gravy. Tomato sauce!
That Nino, he's insecure.
It affects everything he says, capisce?
I will talk on the side to the ear of Annalisa.
What the fuck good is that gonna do?
She is the wife of Mauro Zucca.
- Camillo, where's the pisciatoio? - Down the stairs, go left.
Ma...
...- jor Deegan...
...Express...
...- way.
Right. Major Deegan Expressway.
I'm sorry if he's hassle you.
- Spend time in the States? - Papa went.
I never been.
English from school...
...and fihms.
When can we get a chance to talk?
Come to our house, stay a while.
I will as well personally give you tour of the...
Come si dice?
- The surroundings area. - Avellino?
Where your family is from?
- I don't want to put you out. - No, no.
You should have been guest to our house, but...
...with my father's condition... I send the car at 9?
- Fine. - Ton.
I look forward to it. Excuse me.
I'm gonna go back to the Excelsior.
I gotta take a wicked shit.
Can you stop interrupting me?
We've been offered a ride. You know how these people are.
- Why didn't you use the one in there? - I didn't have to go then.
He's just a kid.
The kid only got firecrackers on him.
We 're getting ready to eat.
Oh, yeah. Forgot it was dinnertime for you.
How's Italy?
The time change and everything, I forgot. Sorry.
- How's Italy? Honestly...
...pretty frigging good.
We'll have to come back. - Right. How's the food?
It's okay.
Lots of fish.
Sounds like you 're working hard.
Why don't you take the kids down and get some Chinese?
Don't tell me how to spend my time.
If I want Chinese food, I don't need your permission.
It's not permission. It was just an idea.
You know what? Fine, I'll hang up.
If the trip is as bland as this phone call...
Nothing's going on.
What do you want me to say to you? Seriously.
Better not say what you saw, Jimmy!
I'll shove that Elvis shit right up your ass!
I'll shove a rutabaga in your mouth, Jimmy. Keep you quiet.
A turnip in there.
Sal!
You're having a nightmare.
I think it was the shrimp on the plane.
Get some hmodium. You want to get made?
This is no way. Tony wants us to hang with Nino.
Work out the dock facilities.
Hope we get some spare time. I'm gonna see that volcano.
Grazie.
This song, Jesus!
I've been to Italy many times and really...
...you're not missing all that much.
The sexual harassment that I was subjected to.
I went with my friend Zane.
Her, they didn't bother. Me, they couldn't keep their hands off.
Much less the whistling and the hooting.
It's not Italy.
Remember Angie Bompensiero?
Angie Belfiore. Married Sal Bompensiero.
- She's thinking of divorcing him. - Hallelujah!
You know them?
No, but to be married to a man like that.
- A man like what? - The attitude, the medieval outlook.
He is such an adoring father, though.
Three beautiful kids they raised, who are now from a broken home.
No sons, I hope. Three more of his ilk, we don't need.
He's very macho.
Macho? No.
Try swaggering mama's boy, hypocrite, shall we?
- Hypocrites? - Carm...
...come on, stop. Just stop.
Is that how you see your brother?
We were talking about Angie.
These O.C. Pricks, especially. With their prostitutes.
Emotional cripples.
They expect their wives to live like the nuns at Mt. Carmel College.
- It's not that simple. - Of course not.
Madonna/whore is the full equation, I believe.
Clothes...
...and appliances...
...and houses.
You are talking about me? About us?
Carmela, no.
I don't know.
That a woman of your intelligence...
...is content to ask so little from life and from herself.
I don't know, I'm...
It's none of my business.
- Marriage is a holy sacrament. - Okay.
Family is a sacred institution.
- Roger. - And you...
...trying to fan the flames with Richie Aprile?
Talk about old school.
Richie, because of his experience in prison...
...he's sensitive to the plight of women.
Oh, my God!
I am not gonna touch that one.
But you had me going for a while there. Oh, Janice, honey...
...I gotta love you. Really.
Nice shot!
I shank him.
Well, it's a man's club.
I'll send you one your size.
Whole set.
So, Tony.
You don't mind me calling you Tony?
What can I do for you?
- You could introduce me to the boss. - You can talk to me.
A fucking woman boss?
- So, what do you want? - Never happen in the States. Never.
Our men kill each other.
All my brothers, for example. They all got murdered.
Or they go to prison.
Rome has a war against us.
But the men are in love to their mama, huh?
So obeying a woman is not...
Come si dice? It comes natural.
Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
You act like your father's nursemaid.
I am his nursemaid.
If an old man carries the respect of the troops, you keep him around.
- I did something like that myself. - We are cousins.
You hungry?
I could eat.
So...
...you wanted to talk about business?
Can I ask you a question?
We won't pay the price on the Mercedes.
Why do you save your toenail clippings?
Why?
You want them?
If your enemy comes into possession of your nail or hair clippings...
...they can make the evil on you.
I'm flattered you'd trust me, but can I pass without ruining the moment?
I already burned them. Nobody gets them.
Cocksuckers.
A lot of guys become soft living in America.
Not one in five guys, they're a fucking rat.
Can't find anybody that believes in the old ways:
Keeping silent. Putting the family first.
So you want Naples' guys.
Fucking clairvoyant over here.
That way I get guys with no ties over there.
They'd be loyal to me, 110 percent.
- What? - What do I get?
You get an obvious advantage to having your guys there.
- How much you pay me for this man? - Pay you?
Your profitability is gonna go way up.
Who are you thinking?
- Well, Furio to start. - Furio!
- Take it easy! - I give you one of my best men...
...and all I get are numbers in the air!
With all due respect, hon, you're being shortsighted.
He's my cousin, one of my best men. It's not gonna happen.
- I'm asking you nice. - Or what?
Hey, look, I don't even think you understand...
- Talk to your husband. - My husband? Fuck you!
He's never coming back. You have to fucking deal with me.
Up your ass!
- You're up. - Where's my other belt?
- Did you look under the bed? - Fuck, yeah!
- I just came from the doctor's office. - Yeah?
- The biopsy came back negative. - Yeah, good. I'll be back later.
The 3:32 to Mount Vesuvius is now leaving at the side entrance.
- Pussy! - Yeah.
- What are you doing here? - I was nearby.
The bachelor party's looking for entertainment.
- Enough said. Want some coffee? - I'm good.
Come on, it's on the boil.
Yeah?
Boss say to tell you one hour.
Dinner.
I want to get out of here. You drive me to the city?
Sure. Absolutely.
I have to ask.
What's it like, working for a woman?
- What are you gonna do? - A woman boss?
- In America you don't have? - No.
What?
- Come down to eat. - Jesus, is that all you people do?
We had a huge lunch.
- We need to finish our business. - I said all I'm gonna say.
All right, I'm coming down.
Yeah, I know. For indigestion, right?
Cheers.
So, what is this place?
My father was born in this house.
Later, we make the new one.
You were born here and your kids are raised next door.
It's a nice thing.
You take good care of your father.
What are you going to do? Send him to ospizio?
Hey.
Listen...
This one needs to be stayed with until he goes to sleep, huh?
I'll take you back in the morning.
Good night.
- It was horrible, what he did. - Might as well have fucking cancer.
What did the lawyer say today?
I have a good case and we'll file on Tuesday.
- You're gonna take Monday to think? - Monday's a Jewish holiday.
- Oh. - I'm finished thinking.
- I thought myself into nonexistence! - Well, you are not nonexistent.
- And Pussy doesn't see you that way. - Fuck what he sees!
Not anymore! It's what I see!
God gave me more years, Carmela.
This very morning, God gave me a gift!
And I will use that gift!
I won't waste it like I've wasted 24 fucking years with this man!
You know what the Church says about divorce.
Let the pope live with him.
What about the kids?
They're 19, 21 and 24. It's time we all grew up.
Kevin is just starting his sophomore year of college.
He'll know you stayed together, waiting for him to leave.
He only cares about not losing privileges at our house on the shore.
He's so fond of his father. That's all I'm saying.
And Terri and Scott with their money problems and the pregnancy...
You want to set this example when your daughter's struggling...
...to keep her marriage alive?
- Why are you working this hard? - Why?
For all of the reasons I just said. Because you are my friend.
I'm not even saying don't.
At the very least, you gotta ask yourself these questions.
They're not even sure Terri can have children of her own.
Sal began to cry when he heard that.
Oh, honey. Come here.
In the end, I know you're not gonna leave him.
I know you won't do that.
I'm from America.
Hey, cara mia, on your way back...
...bring me one of those plums from the breakfast tray.
Never mind.
I gotta hand it to you. Great fruit you got here.
None of them fucking steroids.
Come si dice "steroids"?
There you go. Who said you're not a great conversationalist?
Fucking twat.
There's my little fragolina.
Hey, the customer's always right.
Did I say you should leave?
You know, my grandfather was Neapolitan.
He went to America in 1910.
Three thousand miles...
All by himself.
I'm Neapolitan. Me and Tony both.
Some of the guys are Sicilians.
Hotheaded bastards. Am I right?
So, what part of Naples you from?
Ariano Irpino.
You're shitting me! That's where my grandfather's from.
We come from the same town!
Our families probably know each other.
The island back there is called Progida.
Madonna, look at this.
I gotta bring my kids here.
Show them all this.
In olden time, the Sibyl of Cumae...
...was the second most important oracle after Delphi.
- I thought Delphi was in Greece. - The Greeks were here.
Way before the Romans.
And before the Greeks, there was somebody else.
And before them, somebody else.
"Rulers would come from across the world...
...to hear the Sibyl's predictions of their future.
She would sit inside the cave inhaling gases... "
I think I dated this broad.
"... possibly volcanic, no longer active, and would speak in a voice not her own.
Delivering unto them their fates. "
Let's go into the cave.
The Sibyl sat way back there. See that shaft of light?
It's a fucking trip.
The Sibyl were very beautiful in most cases.
Oh, yeah?
Got a premonition for me?
You?
You're no problem to read.
- You are your own worst enemy. - Oh, is that right?
Right now, you remind me of somebody from back home.
Not your wife.
- Your girlfriend? - Oh, I got one.
To answer your question.
But no.
Not her.
But she's someone you want to fuck.
I can tell.
Oh, really?
You know, everybody's their own worst enemy.
So maybe your psychic power has been overrated a little bit.
You don't want to fuck her?
You don't want to fuck me?
Yeah, I do.
But I don't shit where I eat.
It's bad business. We're in business.
Not at those price.
All right.
You give me Furio...
...and I'll whack down the price of the cars to 85.
Okay.
I get more guys.
On my timetable.
Seventy-five thousand.
Okay.
Okay, thanks.
- So how the fuck was it? - Fabulous. I felt right at home.
- Great. - Did real good business-wise.
I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't been. Especially any Italian.
Someday.
- Don't put it off for another second. - I fucking heard you.
Where's Christopher?
He's in the duty-free buying a gift for Ade.
Four days, he's a block from the best shopping district.
- Why didn't he think of it then? - A broad.
He found out who got eight great tomatoes in that little can.
Fuck him! Leave him here. Drive!
What's the matter, Tony?
Nothing.
Did I tell you we did real good business-wise?
Got fucking double on those cars.
Here he comes! Hey, come on!
Hello! I'm home!